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Fanny Facials - Jiggy With It!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Warning: Not for classy ladies like my sister - who might find this article in poor taste :)
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Read about extreme beauty treatments in the paper today and of course the Fanny Facial caught my fancy instantly. My first response was wow! Let me find out if there's any spa in Bangalore offering that. And once the excitement ebbed, I doubled over and laughed like I haven't laughed in a long time. I mean, just think of the the poor beautician spending the one to two hours flapping, massaging, stroking, steaming, pore-cleaning, and jiggling your bottom jugs. And she can't even look away. She can't do it without staring at it and examining it. A bowl of jelly. Maybe lumpy dough. Or God forbid, a couple of overbaked cakes!

Oh-h Fanny Facials...that must be such an experience! The girls know how close she would need to get to clean the pores!


"Cucumbers to cool your moons anyone?"

So I hear that one of the popular Fanny facial treatments at a spa is called "Moon Glow Facial". Umm given that we Indian ladies are not white, I have to ask - can you really convert our dented asteroids into just-a-little-splotchy moons? Really? Can ya? And tell me, when are they releasing Fair Rear & Lovely? And what about some Tush Rouge. Can I get some of that?

Lol. Never mind. My moons are just fine. Thank you very much.

I also have to wonder whether these fanny facialists have a serious fanny fetish? You know how foot-fetish people end up working in shoe stores....? Because I can't image any other reason, why one might want to spend their time staring at people's asses.

And by the by. I have discovered that a dedicated Fanny spa in Canada is called 'Susurrus'.

Susurrus???

Sus-sur-russ???

Really??!!

Eheheheehe!!! We all know what that sound is.

Ummm...err... that is the delicate sound of a lady exhaling the wrong way!

 


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