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Your baby is ugly

Monday, April 04, 2011


Your baby is ugly. It's true.

I know you hate me already. Go on - hate me some more because I am going to say again. YOUR BABY IS UGLY.

This is coming from me - the "Children are God's gift" and "I'll happily become the nanny" lady. Me who will wipe your baby's poo poo butt cheerily and shower kisses on her snotty cheeks. I am saying - Your Baby is Ugly.

She's not ugly-looking. She's ugly because you have made her ugly. Because God knows there's not a single baby that is born ugly. But God also knows there are some babies made just plain ugly by their parents.

I'll tell you why.

Your baby is ugly when you put makeup on her. Not once or twice for fun. But for every occasion as soon as she starts looking more like a girl than an ambiguous genderless baby 'it'. Then as soon as she's able to wobble on her feet - you put her in heels. You think it looks cute? No it does not. And especially not when she crosses the 4 year mark and then you start letting her use foundation and gyrating to the dirtiest songs just the way the item girl did. Some kids do it cute - just flaying the arms about with some sweet thumkas. But there are some that their parents train to look soo grown up. Put them on stage. Give them the spotlight at weddings, picnics, parties. Pardon me, but it's disturbing enough to make me think that you are 'parading' her with the intention of pawning her off.

Your baby is ugly when you let him scream his head off for every little thing. Don't get me wrong. I'll be the first one to run to a crying child and do whatever I can to help relieve that baby's distress. But GODD, I can't stand a child screaming that unmistakable "Aaaannnnnhhhhhh" to get what he wants. He goes "Aaaaannnnnnnnhhhh" and you give him that second scoop of ice-cream. He goes "Aaaannnnnnhhhhhh" and you give him that mobile phone that you are holding. He goes "AAAAANNNNNHHHHHHH" and you stop yourself from scolding him for throwing that mobile against the wall. If you are giving in to his demands out of fear of what people might think - I'll tell you something. I'd rather sit and listen to a parent yelling at his child than to a child yelling at his parent. Because THAT makes him ugly.

You are probably thinking "what does she know, she's never birthed a baby." Sure, but I have helped raise enough and more to know what it takes or doesn't take to discipline a child. Children are far smarter than how most people treat them. And they will learn what you teach them. Verbally or non-verbally. Worse yet is when you make us - the people around you and your child to give in to the child's demands. I am sorry I cannot do that. I cannot hand over my rather fragile iPhone or my 200 dollar perfume bottle to shut your child up. Cos you know what's going to come next. He's going to either go "Aaannhhhhhhh" and throw away the perfume when I try to take it back from him or plain just hit me. His baby punch knocking the specs of my nose and scratching the skin off my cheek.

I don't like it when your child hits me and you don't do anything about it. If you don't chide him, I will. You - sure as your baby's 9 AM poop - wouldn't like that. Or worse yet, you might laugh at him and encourage him to hit me some more. UGLY. VERY UGLY.

And I have to mention one other thing that makes your child ugly. YOU. Your child will imitate you. It starts showing as soon as he starts speaking. You make your child ugly by smoking around him. You make him ugly by yelling around him and using profanity around him. You make him ugly by encouraging him to imitate you or your wife/husband. You think it's funny that he's imitating how your husband shouts? Wait till he starts shouting at you. And how about laughing your head off when he says unkind things to the other little ones around him?

God made every child beautiful, but there are some idiots who make them ugly, and for that reason I am not afraid to say - Your Baby is Ugly.


5 comments:

Anusha Narayan said...

Hahaha.. great post Rabia! Very very valid points. I keep comparing Indian babies whenever I see a Scandinavian baby here in Finland. It happens subconsciously. These l'il babies are so quiet and don't scream their head off while outside. I see kids of the same age back home and it is so easy to see what kind of brats they have become. There are so many people to fuss over them and give in to all their whims. Not a bad thing really..of course you would want to pamper your kid..but there is a limit really. Not chiding while the kid goes on a butt-smacking rampage in a public place is so not tolerable!

I wish I could say this to few people I know :) that their kid is ugly solely because of them! Since I will not be doing that, I think I am just going to share your post :) :)

Rabia Fathima said...

It's good that someone agrees with me! And see you proved the point with the Scandinavian example. It's not the kids. It's us! I thought I was going to get the hammering of my life. I know many mommies who are going to take this personally. If they do - that's a good thing I say - because really we need to teach our children better manners!

Sharmilla Shah said...

agree , agree, totally agree...whats worse , when u , that is me in my case , want to really discipline a child , my child in my case , there are a at least a dozen of them who show the little one at least a 100 ways out of that situation....NOT HELPING!!!!

IT HAPPENS ONLY IN INDIA ::>>

Rabia Fathima said...

He he... I know ... I can sympathise!

honest diapers said...

I love Honest diapers. I have used them from the very beginning, once I switched to other brand for the price but it did not have stretch tabs, my son was between size 3 and 4 so the extra room would cause leakage. Honest diapers were just right and the flex tabs are comfortable for crawling and movement.